Just a few questions from a self-help book to help me find that man.
1) Why do I want to get married?
Because I am 31 going on 32. I thought I would have been married by at least 24. But here I am, back at my parents house. Still here...
2) Is it because I was raised in a two-parent household and you want to the same type of family?
My parents have been married for 43 years; which is an awesome thing to have with parents. Not everyone gets to say that. I know a few friends with broken up homes; my best friend being one of them.
3) Is it so you can have a fairy-tale or my dream?
I used to be that girl who wanted all that. But now that I don't really have a whole lot of close friends, or close sibling, or relatives I am hardly close with; aside from a very select few, I don't think I want to have a huge wedding anymore. I just want to have an intimate ceremony and possibly a reception after. Weddings are so expensive and they don't need to be just to show off your love to people you hardly see in your life.
4) Could it be that you do not want to grow old alone?
Definitely. Who does? I could be a cat lady; which is my other option (haha!). But do I really want to do that? I have so much to offer in a marriage. I am smart, talented(freakin' fabulous talented), funny. I could always have my cats and dogs and a man. :)
5) Do you want to have a lifelong successful partnership rooted in God?
This is definitely certain in my life; which in today's world, I am finding this hard to find when all there seems to be around me are Atheists, Agnostic, or people who call themselves Christians and go out and say the Lord's name in vain as if His name means nothing to them. But then again, it's kind of hard to find anyone "God worthy" when I sleep in on Sunday instead of attending church. So I have no one to blame but myself on that.
6) How do you generally feel about not being married yet?
Sometimes I feel relieved and then at times I feel lonely. I don't necessarily feel like an alien because none of my close cousins are married. They are feminist, modern, city women of sorts. or are they hating their lives as well? Well I don't really hate my life really... I just took a huge down fall and picking myself back up.
7) Are you angry with God, yourself or with and ex-fiance? Or are you content, or just merely existing?
I don't think I am angry with God. I think I disappoint Him though with some of my actions in life. I am also sometimes disappointed in myself because some of my plans have either took a detour or didn't work out. Am I content? I am definitely not content with where I am right now. I am excited that I am nearly done with my Bachelors degree. It took me a long, long time to get here, but it's going to happen soon. Am I merely existing? I think right now, I sort of feel this way most of the time; like I am just going through the motions.
8) What kind of husband are you waiting for?
A God fearing husband. Maybe a preacher? (haha!) Someone I can walk in my faith with basically. Someone who can take care of me and put up with my many faults, and I the same for him.
9) Do you think you've met him already?
I don't know... I can only hope. I haven't dated anyone in years really. Well one date around Christmas time... and nothing happened. I unfortunately had to be mean and turn the guy down...I just wasn't "in" to him.
